Start Spreading the News

I have been waiting to tell people about this pregnancy for weeks. And now the time has come: it’s no longer a secret.

But I still haven’t told anyone.

There are two issues. One, if you tell everyone you are pregnant, that means you actually believe it yourself, and I’m still in a state of wonder about how it’s possible that "me," the woman I see in the mirror, currently includes two people. Two, what is the proper etiquette for announcing such shocking news about oneself?

Do I stand up in the middle of the newsroom like my friend Sherri did and say, "Hey! Anyone notice anything different about me?"

Do I wait until my cube-mate tells a tale of a long, tear-filled night with his newborn and says to me, "You should never have kids," and then say, "Well, I don’t think I can help it at this point," instead of my usual, "Um, I’ll try?"

Do I just tap on the shoulder of one of our news assistants and say, "Guess what! I’m pregnant!?"

Do I buy myself a cake at Publix that says, "Congrats on the pregnancy, L!" or "Baby Emmerich, July 2005?"

Or do I take the modern route and send out a mass e-mail saying, "Congratulations to me!?"

At this point, none of my options seem good – except the one with the cake, since that likely involves eating cake.

p.s. Yes, I am still telling everyone in the universe about this baby because despite my ranting post yesterday, I'm 100 percent certain I'm going to be having this baby in July...or August. And I'm going to live through it.